Hello from Anita!
I love to talk! My husband says women speak twice as many words daily as men, and actually… research agrees. Horses are great listeners, but not great on feedback.
Living far out in the boonies, in a new area, I wasn’t sure how to meet more people. My mother’s common sense approach flew to mind. As a Navy wife, she was expert at making new friends, “Get involved,” she would encourage, “help someone else !”
As it turns out, thats exactly what I did!
I joined Toastmasters.
Not everyone has a deathly fear of standing in front of an audience, but something like 73% of people do and I was one of them. I remember feeling physically sick when I had to give a report in front of the class!
So why would I deliberately volunteer for that?
At the time, it was to help promote a film my husband and I had produced. He was already doing most of the radio interviews, but sometimes questions came to me. I wanted to articulate my point of view, but needed more skill.
It was time to conquer that lifelong fear!
It was at an Open House, held by the local Toastmasters Club that I heard an amazing talk about walking the Appalachian Trail. The speaker was so natural and comfortable, she didn’t even use notes! The people there were from all walks of life- teachers, a firefighter, an artist, a former ad exec, a propane dealer, all really friendly and approachable.
I joined on the spot (and immediately switched propane companies!)
Soon after, my good friend Terri passed away. I was still terrified in front of an audience, but had gotten a little experience at my local club. I stood up at her memorial service, took a deep breath and briefly shared a eulogy I had written for her to dozens of her friends, family and neighbors.
It was exhilarating! I discovered that excitement is the flip side of fear!
I later wrote this blog about Terri. Toastmasters opened up the writer in me, too.
There have been many other times I have used the skills that I am still learning in Toastmasters.
Because Toastmasters is an extremely structured program, all the meetings and roles are timed. We are in and out of meetings in an hour on the dot. We learn to be succinct yet clear.
Members volunteer for a role in each meeting and one such role is the”ah” counter. Gleefully or gently, depending on who it is, this member rings a bell every time the speaker uses a filler word like, ah, um so and others. Magically, I’ve begun to stop using those words and breathe instead.
We all have a chance to speak in some role, small or large, and through telling stories we’ve gotten to know each other better. We laugh over embarrassing tales and find out we’re not alone with losses, families, both close and far and the roadblocks that life throws up in our paths.
You can take the massive curriculum as far as you care to, developing leadership skills, managing a team, coaching, humor and more. Every year, there are international contests for Best Speaker, and many Toastmasters have gone on to create top rated Ted Talks.
But for me, finding my voice and a supportive community has been the best part!
How do you find your people in a new place?
Know someone who might be interested in improving themselves and making new friends?
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Excellent post!
Wonderful post! I tend to get tongue tied in front of people I don’t know. I’ve joined Toastmasters to help me be more comfortable. It’s comforting to know there are so many of us out there! 😊